Personal Perestróĭka

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JJ’s B-day 2007,
originally uploaded by crackerjackheart.

The story of my birthday, as adapted from am email to my girls:

I got up pretty early, ran some errands, did some laundry and such and then around noon-ish, our friends, the Dynamic Duo of Asshattery, Sly Dog and Dee Double, came over to change the tire on K’s truck. After three hours, the tire still wasn’t changed (something about the spare being rusted into the thing that holds the spare and assorted other asshattery) and other people began to show up, including Baby Skates, looking stunning as she’d just come from a more formal engagement and everyone’s favorite little brother (who is apparently now reading this and probably wants to pick his own nickname, as I suspect he’d hate anything I choose) Little Brother, and a bunch of other people who all ate and drank a lot in about three waves (of different groups coming and going).

Then ALT-Boy came over and took us all to the bar (who knows why, he was the only somewhat sober person, so who knows his reasoning) where we ate and caroused and drank more (it was only 8:30–*cough* yeah, we started early. I blame Sly Dog and Dee Double for that), then back to the house for more, until everyone passed out. I think the pictures (linked above) tell the story better than I’m doing here. I only regret that I didn’t take many more pictures and perhaps record the amusing conversations that I had or overheard through out the night.

It was good day, though it barely feels over, as K and I spent the morning laughing our asses off while Sly Dog, Dee Double and ALT-Boy talked about NFL draft picks and expressed shock over K and I’s lack of knowledge of recent NFL scandals and such. Bless their hearts, they tried to explain. Then I went to work while SD and DD poked at the tire some more. I hear tell it might be fixed when I get home from work, but that’s definitely a believe it when I see it scenario.

I got presents and lots and lots of love and tiny sunburn and good feeling in my heart for the whole world, so yeah, it was good day all right.

Happiness is waking up to a hand made card from someone wo loves you, (even though she didn’t need to, since she also made a bazillion cupcakes and is throwing me a party). And happy birthday messages from my favorite bands! Hurrah. Now I’m off to run an errand or two, then clean my room (so as to start my new year with new bedding and all) and then we have a party! Huzzzah!! I suspect in between now and then I’ll be back here to upload a bunch of songs as presents for y’all! Happy day, everyone! I have enough to joy to spread it all around!

Quote of the day: “See? I already got a chick, so I don’t have to read Nick Hornsby.”

Yesterday I dropped a large folding table on my foot. It’s actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be at first, but it’s pretty achey and jacked up.

HA! Suddenly I find myself wanting to date Marten.

Man, the internet is a time killer. I really should be working.

I feel pathetic today. I’d like to get a massage and then curl up with someone who loves me and have them stroke my hair and tell me I’m pretty.

Also my feet are full of broken glass and Tabasco. No, that isn’t a metaphor. I was wearing flip-flops at work last night and I dropped a large bottle of Tabasco from a decent height and it shattered right at my feet. I managed not to badly cut myself, just a couple small ones, and now I have have three or four little slivers of glass left in my feet (and one in my hand). Only cowboy boots at work for me from now on.

Last night at work was a fiasco. They changed the menu last night (it was supposed ot happen on Thursday). Which would have been fine, except that last night was Nashville Cares, where 30% of participating restaurant profits are donated to AIDS research. So we were slammed, short-handed, and had a new menu. We were only supposed to be taking reservation for 6 and 8 pm, so we could do 2 seatings (we only have 14 tables), but while I was out Sunday and Monday, the bartender took 4 reservations for 7 pm and didn’t write down phone numbers for any of them. ACK! One of the waitresses just broke up with her boyfriend and kept running into the bathroom to cry. The good news is, many, many upcoming nights at the restaurant will seem fabulous in comparison to that.

Currently on the main page at Free Will Astrology is a picture that my mom had a huge print of when I was little. Whenever I was sick, I would sleep in her bed instead of mine and spend hours staring at it a wondering where I needed to go to to look outside the edges of the universe. Which possibly explains a lot about how I think. Anyway I went over there to check out my horoscope which is interesting, though not full of the potential relevations one would hope for right before their birthday. Especially since I feel like I’m already doing the things listed in it.

I look mostly cute today: pointy black shoes, black cropped pants, white blouse, black and blue necklace. My hair still looks good, though I feel puffy and greasy and I don’t have any make-up on. Blech. Speaking of, is anyone using any brand of the powdered mineral make-up? Do you like it?

I was listening to the Descendents on the way to work today (Everything Sucks, probably not the best thing to cheer myself up with) and thinking about relationships. I swear, at the rate I’m going, batting about .100 in relationships, I expect I’ll end up marrying the first guy to send me flowers at work. Or really the first guy to send me flowers that aren’t bought from a convenience store. God, I can’t believe I just typed that. Seriously, I’m feeling like PMS levels of patheticness today, even though that isn’t the case.

Shit ass day at work. Hell night at the restaurant. I left at 9:30, DONE with that place. Then one of the waitresses (our neighbor, Miss Sparkle) texted me at 11:30 to say Cory Branan was playing a surprise set there. What the motherfucking fuck. Got there in time to see him pack up, hug him, chat for a second, and drink a beer before he was gone. *sigh* I knew there was possibility of John Prine, Justine Earle and Todd Snider being there and I forewent staying because the night had sucked so much and been so busy I was just done. Why did no one tell me the possibility of Cory? The universe is FIRED.

What does one do with an afternoon/evening off work? If it’s me apparently the answer is clean out the car, sort all the CDs back into their right cases, give my self a pedicure and dye my hair. But now I have a sort of clean car (inside anyway), I know where all the CDs are, and I have lovely chocolately brown hair that’s reddish around the crown and very finely streaked with blond near my face and my toenails are a pretty new penny copper color. All in all not a completely wasted day. I feel prettier. Now if only I had endless new handbags and shoes and a houseboy to do my laundry, I’d be totally set.

Just the Wave, Not the Water – Jimmie Dale Gilmore (click to download) I love me some Jimmie Dale. I could listen to him endlessly, except that K would kill me, because she doesn’t like him so much.

Now maybe I’ll watch some Heroes and maybe make myself some earrings or something.

apetslife has gone home. It’s back to situation normal home. Which is sad, not because our lives aren’t good, but because PETTYWHACK is so great that you miss her the second she’s gone.

We all went for Indian food last night, at a place that turned out to be great except the insanely surly waiter who HATED us! But even that was amusing in the face of such great food. Mmmmm, Indian.

Work continues to be good. I volunteered for the booth at Earth Day and ended up with some mulletted guy with a black eye asking me how he can practice energy conservation in his trailer so that the battery back-up would last longer when his generator went down. Oh, Tennessee, you give me the most amusing anecdotes.

There’s a new boy. I haven’t decided yet if he’s just a friendly fling or, you know, something. Which means it’s probably just a fling, which is fine and good. I’m smiling over it and that’s all that’s important, eh? Also he has a one-eyed cat. For some reason this amuses me very much.

I swear I had a bunch of things I was going to post about, but damned if I can remember them now.

Today’s work clothes: brown pants, tan light cotton sweater, brown sandals and giant earrings, hair in librarian bun.

Truckstop Honeymoon – Walk of Shame (click to download) onelittlesleep posted this as song that makes her think of me and it amused me so much that I’m sharing it with y’all.

I’m way tired than I should be considering I had a nap today. But PETTYWHACK will be here in a few hours so I have something to look forward too! And one of the regulars at the restaurant gave me three boxes of hair dye for free. His car was full of it, we all took some. It was pretty funny, getting hair dye out of the back of a car in a parking lot, like some shady NYC dealings.

There are so many sad dead trees,from the hard freeze we had a week or so back. Spring seems to have returned but the trees still make me a little sad. I hope they all recover. I keep inspecting the one outside the back door for signs of new life, but none yet.

I am at work. I have internets! I’m posting to LJ! I’m listening to Tom Morton. I like my coworkers. Life is good!

I was driving into work this morning, composing this post in my head (most of the content I promptly forgot as soon as I got out of the car) and there was an Alabama license plate front of me. Their plates read “Stars Fell on Alabama” which I think has something to with a meteor shower in the 1800s or something. But really as I was staring at the plate (it was red light) I thought of everyone I’ve met from Alabama since I moved down here and I’m pretty sure stars falling has something to do with the number of hot guys Alabama seems to produce. Thin, narrow-featured, dark-haired hot guys. I met another one just last night. They are so prevalent it’s as if they’ve rained down from the sky. Yes, um, perhaps no more thinking so early in the morning, eh?

Seriously, Tom Morton is killing me with the goodness today. Go listen to the current show that’s up! It’s making me gleeful on a chilly, wet day!

Yesterday’s clothes: pointy black heels with little silver buckles, lavender pants (I know, what?), white button-up, black sweater. Today: black slacks, white tee, purple cardigan, and… red shoes. Well, it works alright, style-wise, but obviously I need the purple shoes. So, I said I wasn’t too proud to whore myself out for them? Well then, here’s whoring. Anything you buy from the site in the next week, the money will go towards the purple shoes. Think of it as buying me a present and getting something for yourself. I have a few new things that will go up on the site this week and of course you can always order custom things. So come support me in being irresponsible, you buy something, I buy shoes–damn the electric bill, my debts or rent. I need frivolity in life and this is going to be it.

I can’t decide how many of my weird toys I should bring to my desk at work. So far I only have the squeaky laptop Buddha. I think I need the stacking dolls of former Soviet leaders too, and pictures of my sister, Rhi’s babygirl and D’s twins and then I’m good.

Now I need to work. Although I’ll surely be distracted all day by the fact that apetslife get here tonight!! EEEE! PETTYWHACK in my house!

Well, spring made another sneak appearance today. I’m not holding my breath that it will stick around, but man it was a tiny spot of joy. The dreary weather is bringing me and you and everyone we know down. Well me and Rhi and my co-worker, M., anyway.

Work clothes today: pointy black shoes with silver detail in the leather, wide-leg black slacks, long aqua sweater, sparkly star earrings and matching necklace. It was cute but I still looked like hell, puffy eyes, dark circles, red nose (from blowing it too much, not from doing too much blow). Work will hopefully get easier, right now I’m playing a million weeks of catch up and trying to implement sensible systems, so it’s a little overwhelming. Although I suspect that’s mostly because my head is still snot-filled and stuffed up that I can barely think.

I’m contemplating whoring myself out for these (they only have them left in my size, isn’t that somehow meaningful?). *sigh*

The kitchen guy at work asks me amusing things like “Married?” “Got babies?” (yes in that order) Then the other night he told me if I had a husband I wouldn’t have to work two jobs because my husband would take care of things for me. (Don’t mistake that he was flirting with me, he wasn’t. I think I just amuse him.) I told him that having two jobs was less work than having a husband. But then again, I could marry someone who bought me lots of shoes… Am I that shallow? Some days, maybe. Over all, yeah, I guess not.

Hmm, I think I need to come up with clever nicknames for my co-workers and both my work places.

Still hideously, horribly, uncomfortably, gruesomely sick. The weather isn’t helping. It was so warm and lovely a couple weeks ago and since them April’s mostly been cold, dark and fairly miserable. I don’t like this one bit. It’s not just my usual complaining about it being cold. It’s just April is supposed to be full of springy joyfulness and instead we got a freeze which killed a lot of the newly budding leaves on trees and plants and it’s just been so grimly grey. Ugh, if this is spring, then summer can’t get here fast enough.

My head hurts so much that I’m considering cutting it off. Though perhaps a judicious application of codeine would be better. And approximately 176.4 hours of sleep. And perhaps a sponge bath from my nonexistent hot Persian houseboy.

Despite being sick I’m pretty disgusted with my own laziness, so I’m doing laundry and half-assedly cleaning up my room during commercial breaks in The Stand. Yeah, thanks, Sc-Fi Channel for giving endless hours of crap TV to watch when I’m sick. Now all I need is that Persian houseboy…

I’ve been updating my Amazon wishlist too, the semi annual update (one for Xmas and one for the birthday), which is oddly satisfying. Like shopping, though without spending money, since I have none to spend. Maybe I’ll waste the next few hours looking for the perfect pair of purple shoes.

I have a horrible head cold; headache, violent sinus pain, endless wells of snot, earache, sore throat, swollen glands. Also I just started my period and I have a weird rash on the side of my face.

Please kill me. Really. I can’t stand it anymore.

Tonight’s song is: I’ll Just Fall – Lucero (click to download)

Seriously so tired I could just pass out standing up. Restaurant work is a reminder of how freaking lazy I’ve been lately, because standing up for five hours straight feels like some insane torture. At least my wrists are getting stronger from carrying stacks of plates.

Starting next week I’ll have internet access at the day job so hopefully I’ll be posting more and intelligently then.

Yesterday’s work clothes: chocolately brown pants, white button up shirt, red sweater, strappy red heels. Tonight’s restaurant outfit: black maryjanes, stripey patterned grey tights, short jean skirt, white button up shirt, black sweater. Now when does it get warm enough for me to wear cute outfits to the restaurant? *grumps* I shouldn’t complain too much. It’s actually tolerably warm now compared to the last few days.

I updated my wishlist, mostly for my family, in anticipation of my birthday. I don’t deserve any presents though, because I misremembered the date for joyfulgirl41’s birthday and missed it completely. So any wishes you were going to send to me, you should go send to her, so she doesn’t think I totally suck.

Sleep now. Before I fall down.

Amusing emails recently received:

from my sister, who is in France

Wait, didn’t I just get off work? And now I’m getting ready to go back? And this only going to get worse when I go on a regular schedule at my other job next week. I’ll just keep repeating to myself that money is necessary and good. Also I’d forgotten how thankless restaurant work can be, but still it’s fun, I like the people (and the food and beer benefits). But man, last night, when I sat down for the first time in 5 hours, I realized I’m definitely not as young as I once was!

Here’s an amusing bit of nerdy novelty from the band that played at work last week: Drakkar Sauna – There’s Not Enough Tits on a Wolf (click to download) (really listen to it all the way through, the first 15 seconds don’t do the rest justice).

Is it just me or Joss completely, totally spoon-feeding it to us in the season 8 Buffy comic? I mean, really! The Xander swoony-ness isn’t enough, but he has to almost go there. How can I possibly be patient enough to wait for the next issue? ARG! (spoilers in the comments)

I had dreams about missing flights. At one point I managed to miss 3 flights in a row because they kept sending me all over the airport. In another there were thher people with me, all of whom also kept missing flights. I had another dream about rollerskating through one of those malls that looks like a little town, wearing only tights, rollerskates and a t-shirt. I was trying to shop for a skirt, but none of the store had anything I wanted. Then I dreamt I had this really awkward garden and I was trying to divide the plants in it and make it all symmetrical before the cold snap went away. I only got half done before I realized, yep, the work was going to make me late for a flight I was trying to catch.

I’m wide awake but I’m half tempted to get back in bed because it’s cold. Seriously that our ancestors came out of caves long enough to eat and not die in the winter is a miracle. I would have stayed inside and died of starvation as long as there were furs or something bundle up in a keep warm.

We completely sterilized the house today in hopes of preventing the spread of K’s plague. Now everything is shiny and smells vaguely of bleach. Of course we probably took years off our lives breathing all the chemicals.

Center Stage is really abysmally bad. I thought it would be like Bring It On or something, the way everyone talks about it, but no, it’s just painfully, horribly, hideously bad. And no one in the movie is even hot. It’ doesn’t even have shallow pleasures going for it.

It’s once again horribly cold here. I’ve been told that this is “Dogwood Winter” in which it gets warm, everything blooms and then it freezes again for a few days. Also several co-workers and the teller at my bank have all informed me that it’s always cold at Easter in Tennessee. *grump grump grump*

Something just bloomed in Nashville that does not love me. Allergies wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t any symptoms, right?

You’ll notice my ticker is made of shoes and pie. I’m just saying.