Personal Perestróĭka

I never make resolutions on the New Year. Or rather, I never mean to make them, but some always pop into my head (though often as not, pop out again immediately). Never original and usually on the theme of being a better person: being a kinder, more generous person, being more flexible in how I live my life, more open to the possibilities of the universe, etc. I don’t know that I’ve ever exactly acheived any of these things, but I can’t say that I haven’t either. Even though I’m fairly introspective (that is to say, more I guess, than your average joe) it takes me a very long time to see changes in myself. Indeed, perhaps by the time I notice it I’ve already changed more and can’t see that change yet. Anyway, um, what am I on about? YAY! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For the last song of the year I present Solomon Burke singing a duet with Dolly Parton of her “Tomorrow is Forever.”

Tomorrow is Forever – Solomon Burke featuring Dolly Parton (click to download)

lyrics

You’d think I had nothing better to at my parent’s house than post pictures of myself. Not completely true, but I got my hair cut and colored today, so of course pictures. The color is, uh, well I don’t hate it, I might even like it, but the colorist and I sure were not communicating at all. I don’t know how long I’ll keep it, I think too much of my identity might be tied up in being blond for me to keep it very long.

judge for yourself

Today’s photography lesson, in the weird lighting in my parent’s bathroom, my eyes look very pretty and just a little creepy.

am I hypnotized or hypnotizing?

WTF, Seattle? Snow? Fuck me.

Seriously, I was out smoking at like 11 last night in a sweater and no jacket and socks and no shoes and it was fine and then this morning I hear my mom cursing downstairs, so I get up and it’s fucking snowed? I mean, sure, it’s PNW snow, so it’s already half gone at a noon, but yucko slusho. Just the idea of snow makes me cranky, let alone surprise snow. Blech. At least I have fuzzy new sweaters to wear. I guess I’ll go use up the all the hot water because I can and then get dressed and ready to go out into the ick weather.

Today’s song, not for the usual sappy reasons, but more joyous ones, despite the chosen song:

Somewhere Out There – Steve Earle (click to download)

lyrics

My cocktail dress dilemma has been solved with this dress and these shoes. Such a grown up outfit, who knew I had it in me? I also got 4 sweaters and 4 pairs of jeans and this necklace. The necklace is AWESOME.

It was very very very long shopping day capped with JAMES BOND (seriously the new movie? finally a Bond movie for girls) and more shopping. Now I’ve eaten and I don’t think I can manage more than reading tonight. If it was always like this, I’d totally move back home. As it is, I’ll gladly have holidays like this.

Merry Christmas to those that celebrate, just plain wishes of joy to those that don’t. I got lots of books and cool pajamas and the all usual stuff from my family. We had a lovely dinner last night, which I made and will probably put pictures up of because it’s so rare I make something like that. Now I’m going for a walk along the river with my mom and then off to my aunts’ for more food and awkward conversations (I’m pretty sure that whole part of my family thinks I’m just plain weird, but they try v.v. hard anyway, bless them for that). After dinner, then James Bond movie, then tomorrow is all out shopping extravaganza with my sister. Then much more socializing. I should be ready for complete hermitude when I get home to Tennessee.

Made it to Seattle without incident, lightly delayed but no big deal. Was dead tired, recovered with mom-made smoked salmon and pesto sandwiches and Starbuck’s peppermint mochas and a nice hot shower and then it was off to my aunts’ and am now exhausted all over again. Tomorrow I have to make a cheesecake with my sister, make a potato pancakes and pork tenderloin stuffed with…something, shop, see a movie, visit with family friends and wrap presents. Um, probably not in that order. Now I sleep.

Half-packed. I’m so lazy. I packed all the clothes and shoes in the big bag to check and am putting everything else in the carry-on sized suitcase. Ha! I can go to Europe for 18 days with only the little suitcase, but ten days in Seattle and I need to two full bags. Of course I have gifts and the laptop and all but still, it’s pretty absurd. And hey I’ve got it down to three pairs of shoes, so I think I’m doing pretty good.

I’m prety sure I emailed everyone about getting together while I’m in town, but if you think you should have gotten an email from me and didn’t, I’m sorry. I’m totally scattered. Email me if you want to hang and you haven’t heard from me.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Seattle!! I’m so excited.

Damn it, I still have like a dozen things to do. I should make a list or something. Ugh.

The sun is near its greatest distance from the equatorial plane, standing still as it were, on the Solstice. Tonight we turn the corner and the light slowly begings to return in the Northern Hemisphere. The Holly King has won, staying green even as the Oak King is bare and seemingly dead. The Saturnalia is upon us, and so we shall all decorate the evergreens with red berries and dance and eat. Hang the holly to catch the bad spirits on it’s tiny thorns. Hurrah! And Marduk will tame the monsters of chaos for one more year! Keep your candles lit, to chase away the darkness, as it is soon already on the run and we can only hope to make it go faster. Kiss beneath the mistletoe and no matter what you celebrate, feast feast feast! For we can find joy in each other and company even in the darkness which will soon wash away.

And, K, perhaps Vlad is a descendent of the Yule Cat??

Music as therapy. Note to self: get over it already.

Songs partly in honor of this phone conversation last night:
K: “Are you listening to Lucero?”
Me: “yeah…?”
K: “Yeah, it just sounded like someone in pain, so I figured that was it.”

So, mini Lucero round up of the songs I can’t stop listening to this week, even though I should know better by now:

Is That You I Been Kissing? (click to download)

Nights Like These (click to download)

What Else Would You Have Me Be? (click to download)

And a bonus, I-need-to-find-a-better-headspace song: The Hollyfelds – Indesicion (click to download)

lyrics

The sky is currently creamsicle orange and pale violet.

Go on and damn someone to hell. Once you start, you can’t stop. Link courtesy my mom.

I was going through some files, moving stuff around on my computer and I discovered that I have in fact documented all the seasons I’ve been in Tennessee. At least as they look in my yard, which isn’t very representative, but it’s what I got. I really should take more pictures, but I always forget when I’m out, even when I have my camera with me. Anyway, my yard in three season:

summer

Some words you should be using. And a few more. I recommend especially: libberwort and obdormition.

Most importantly, why do I not own a coat like this?

Secondly, the art show went pretty well.  The usual mix of amusingly pretentious people and the occasional INSANE woman (who wants me to make a bunch of Evil Eye bracelets for all her friends, in red, to keep the bad energy from entering the left side of their bodies–ooookay).  As always the stuff I think will totally sell didn’t, but enough other stuff sold, so that’s good.

It’s still cold here.  I’m sure I’ll be saying that for months, but it’s not crack-ass fucking hell cold, so I’m good with that.

I’m wearing one of the scarves the lovely joyfulgirl41 made for me.  Both of which are awesome.  But not as awesome as the signed Hank III poster she sent me today (with his phone number written on the back, yeah I got good friends).

K and I spent most of the art show chatting with the fabulous gay boys who indubitably thought we were lesbians.  We can’t escape it.  Then we came home and celebrated with red wine and Krystal.  Yeah, classy as fuck.  Nothing says high class like mini hamburgers and wine.  Wine bought at the liquor store where the other patrons told us about how the next liquor store down the block was almost robbed last night, but the owner beat fuck out of the would be robber.  Ah, East Nashville, we love your clever mix of crackheads and hipsters.

I am tired.  I might actually go to bed before midnight. Mark your calenders, my babies, this might actually be the first sign of the coming apocalypse.

I leave you with a song that make my heart ache in the same way a perfect sunset over the ocean or a spectacular mountain view does: Northwest Passage – Stan Rogers (click to download).

Yep, nothing says I’m going to have a great day like waking up to discover your pipes have frozen and there’s no water. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Those “smile you are in Spain” ads make me want to cry. I want to be smiling in Spain right now. RIGHT NOW!

Two for the price of one songs tonight.

Better – Regina Spektor (click to download) After having listened to three albums, well, this is currently the only song I like by her, but right now I really like it. Heartbreakingly melancholy. Mmm, wintery, lonely.

God Only Knows – The Beach Boys (click to download) I’m not a big Beach Boys fan, but this song? *swoon* I think I have 5 or 6 covers of it, but it’s always best to start with the original, so c’mon, y’all come and love it too! It’s total pop love song deliciousness.

I am so tired I can barely get out of this chair to go to bed. Maybe if I turn off the heater the cold will force my exhausted ass up and to bed? Maybe if I go to be someone will bring me waffles with strawberries and whipped cream in the morning? I don’t even like waffles. I just like the idea of breakfast in bed. Well, no, I’d worry about spilling and stuff. But if my TV boyfriend, Peter Petrelli (sorry Greg Sanders, we broke up when you stopped having cute funny hair) brought me waffles, I’d probably eat them in bed. Um, anyway, sleep now, be coherent tomorrow. Yis.

I’ve been making jewelry for eternity. Really! For that long! No, maybe it was just all weekend. And even then I’ve actually been sorting, organizing and rearranging all my jewelry making bits for the last hour or two. Hmm, two, I think it was at least two episodes of CSI. Both of which I’d seen before. Now that I’m sitting back actually watching the TV I can’t decide between rodeo coverage (mmmm, rodeo!) or a Clint Eastwood movie (it’s The Enforcer, look how young he is!!!) I’m sort switching back between the two, but if I’m gonna get anymore earrings put together tonight I’m gonna have to pick one. How will I choose!?!? My life, it is so hard. Heh.

I was about to go out and smoke but the internet tells me it’s 25°F but with windchill or what ever it actually feels 15°F. Whiskey tango foxtrot, weather? Why must you be so cruel? It’s 38°F in Seattle and I demand it be warmer here. ARG!

Yes, move along, folks, nothing to see here.